Chibi Me, Chibi You
by PrincessFlorea
Summary: Cloud and co find a new Materia: the Chibi Materia! I wonder what happens...chapter 14 up! Sephiroth arrives!
1. Aeris and the Chibi Materia

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Aeris and the Chibi Materia_   
*** *** *** ***

One day, our travelers, Cloud, Aeris, and Cid came across a summon materia called the Chibi Materia. They were quite curious about it, and picked it up, then equipped it on Aeris. 

Trying out during a battle, Aeris summoned the Chibi, but mysteriously disappeared. 

Cloud and Cid looked for her in the surrounding area, but they only found someone's abandoned baby. So the two went off to their place in Kalm to talk to the others of Aeris' disappearance. 

*** 

_ Knock, knock._

Tifa opened the door. Her eyes widened. "Oh... I...uh... didn't know you two had a baby...congrats... I guess..." 

Cloud blushed furiously, while Cid looked the other way. "We didn't!" 

"Speaking, where's Aeris?" Tifa questioned. 

"She...ah..." 

"So she's you and Aeris' baby?" 

"NO!" 

"Cid and Aeris?" 

"Ugh...No way! We found the kid in our battle field after Aeris disappeared." 

"Oh. Well, come in." 

Tifa called the others to the living room. Cid retold the story. 

"Hmm..." Nanaki took a good look at the baby. "It looks like Aeris. Chibi Materia, right?" 

"It must be Aeris then." Cloud said. Everyone else nodded. Aeris smiled. She pulled one of Cloud's spikes. "Yeow!" 

Pulled harder. "Yaaack!!!" 

Aeris finally gave up with trying to pull Cloud's hair out. So, she went for the ears. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!" 

*** 

"Whew," Cait Sith sighed. "I didn't know Cloud was capable of screaming like a girl!" 

"Hey," Cloud retorted, "I know even _you_ would scream if that chick pulled _your_ cloth ears, Cat-Boy!" 

"Hey, guys! She's asleep, okay?" Yuffie drawled, hanging upside down from the back of the couch. "Don't wake her." 

"Yeah, we don't want to wake Aeris up, do we?" Cloud spat back. "I'm still finding it hard to breathe!" 

Aeris had fallen asleep on Cloud's chest, with her hand covering his nose. She'd recently tried to pull off all protruding body parts. 

***

A half hour had passed... 

Everyone was asleep.... 

But someone woke up... 

"WHAT THE HELL?! CLOUD~!! GET YOUR BIG FAT REAR END OFF OF MEEEEEE!!!" 

And everyone else did too. Even Cloud. Especially Cloud. 

"WHAT EXACTLY WERE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?!" 

Aeris had reappeared as her normal self. But not quite normal, because... 

"AAAgggggggggg..." ...She was strangling Cloud. 

And before anyone could stop her, she used the Chibi Materia on Cloud.   



	2. Cloud and Tifa

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Cloud and Tifa_   
*** *** *** ***

"Where'd he go?" Barret asked. "His clothes are there, but he isn't." 

"..." Aeris looked at the pile of purple clothing and armor. "Is that what happened to me?" 

"Yup. 'Cept you have clothing." 

Cloud's overalls (**AN:** I don't know what to call them. Really baggy overalls, I guess...) shifted. In the knee area. Out of the leg popped a spiky haired baby. 

"OH, SH*T!" Barret said. 

Cait Sith picked Cloud up. Cloud socked him between the eyes. 

"For heaven's sake," Cid said. "Someone go get him a towel!" 

Vincent found Cloud's towel in the bathroom, which they used to cover Cloud in. 

"You know how Cloud always has such baggy pants?" Yuffie asked. 

"Yeah?" Nanaki answered. 

"I know why!" The ninja triumphantly exclaimed. 

"Why?" 

Yuffie shook both legs of the overalls. From one was a rather large pile of candy. "This is why he'd always kind of hyper." 

From the other leg... "Meow." 

Cloud scrambled over to his pet kitty. 

"No wonder there's always cat hair in the laundry." remarked Tifa. 

Cloud and the kitty scrambled to the candy. 

Barret sighed. "It jes' reminds me of Marlene! She likes cats." 

Cloud, the kitty, and the candy scrambled over to Tifa. She picked him up, and Cloud settled his head down on Tifa's very large chest. 

Cait Sith commented, "Cloud seems to have good taste in women." 

Three pieces of candy were chucked at him. 

***

Cloud had found the red Chibi Materia. He waved a hand at Tifa. 

Instantly, Cloud normalized, and Tifa shrunk. 

But given the fact that Tifa had been holding Cloud and now she'd turned chibi... 

Tifa slid down the surprised looking Cloud, and landed on the floor, but not before taking Cloud's towel with her. 

The others stared. 

"It's a small one." Yuffie said to Aeris, who nodded in agreement. 

Cid and Barret looked away, both thinking Cloud was a shame to man. 

Cait Sith and Nanaki wisely didn't say anything. 

Tifa smirked and shook her head. 

"What are _you_ laughing about?" Cloud snarled.He snatched back the towel, his clothes, the kitty, and left the room. 

***

"So all we have to do is turn someone chibi, and the previous person will become normal again." Nanaki said. 

Everyone else (except Tifa) nodded. Tifa tied Nanaki's and Cait Sith's tails together in a knot. 

"Any volunteers?" Yuffie asked with a glint in her eye. 

Tifa snuck up behind Vincent and shouted, "OOOO!!" 

Vincent jumped up, screaming, "EEEE!" 

"Oh, Vincent? Okay." Yuffie shrugged. 

"Noooooooooo..." Vincent cowered in a corner. 

Yuffie cast the Materia. 


	3. Vincent, the Chibian Beast

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Vincent, the Chibian Beast_   
*** *** *** ***

_ "Noooooooooo..." Vincent cowered in a corner.___

_ Yuffie cast the Materia._

***

A kid with long black hair was sitting on the floor where Vincent had been. 

"He still has his claw..." Cid remarked. "I was kinda hoping it would fall off..." 

Vincent looked at all the scary big people. The scary big people looked at Vincent. Vincent's lip started to quiver. 

"Oh, no," Aeris sighed. "Somebody..." 

Yuffie scooped Vincent up, just in time. "Don't cry, don't cry..." 

Vincent hiccupped. He pointed to Cloud's kitty. 

"No way." Cloud said. 

Yuffie and Vincent turned the watery-too-cute-to-resist-puppy eyes on him. "Please?" Yuffie implored. 

"Arrgh...too...cute...must...resist...fine. Here you go, Sweetheart." 

Aeris, Tifa, and Barret pounced on Cloud. "I KNEW IT! YOU AND YUFFIE!! TWO-TIMER!" Aeris, Barret, and Tifa yelled at him. 

"Uh...Barret?" Tifa asked. 

Barret blushed. "Jes got carried away..." 

"The cat's name is Sweetheart. Sweetie for short..." After saying so, Cloud crawled to a corner of the room where a black cloud (pun intended) hung over his head. 

***

Cait Sith snatched up Vincent's revolver. "I'd better take this." he said. "In case Vince tries to shoot somebody..." 

Vincent crawled out of Yuffie's lap and headed to Cait Sith. The cat looked down at him. "What?" 

The kid pointed to his gun. 

"Nuh-uh." 

Vincent growled. 

And transformed into a tiny monster with fangs and a barbed tail. 

Yuffie, Aeris, and Tifa gasped. "THE CHIBIAN BEAST!!" 

"The Chibian Beast?" The robotic cat took a step back, falling off his Mog. 

The Beast ran up and sank his teeth into Cait's butt. 

***

_[At Shinra HQ]_

Reeve yelled loudly in pain. He grabbed his own ass, dropping all of his papers on the floor. "All right, all right, I'll give the damn thing to him!! Just get the friggin' thing offa me!!" 

Two officials made their way through the bystanding crowd. They carted Reeve off to the hospital. The mental side. 

"Tsk, tsk." An old lady said to a younger one. "Like I always said, youngsters nowadays is forever being stupid. I tell ye missy, turn away from that man's path. Don't take them queer drugs." 

***

"All right, all right, I'll give the damn thing to him!! Just get the friggin' thing offa me!!" Cait hopped around the room, with Chibian's teeth and the rest of the Beast as a second tail. 

The cat threw the gun to the floor, but what was formerly Vincent still held on. "Give me the Materia!" he begged. 

Barret handed him the Lightning Materia. "NO~!" Cait wailed. "CHIBI!" 

Cid gave him the Chibi Materia. 

"Great. A chibi Cait Sith." Nanaki rolled his eyes. 

"Great. Just when I was enjoying myself watching that." Yuffie sighed. 

Cait Sith cast Chibi. 

*** *** *** ***

So, ppl, I got a question: Do ya wanna see...   
1. The Shinra guys (including the Turks, Scarlet, Rufus...) as Chibis?   
2. The other Summon Materias (Shiva, the Bahamuts, Ramuh...) as Chibis?   
3. Any other suggestions?   
And just to let you know, after Cait Sith is Yuffie. 


	4. Cait Sith and Reeve

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Cait Sith and Reeve_   
*** *** *** ***

_[Shinra HQ]_   
"Okay, you're free to go." The nurse told Reeve. 

Relieved, Reeve started on his way to his office. 

But... he never got there. 

***   
_Cait Sith cast Chibi._   
***

Vincent returned to normal. But since the Chibian Beast hadn't let go, Vincent still had his teeth clamped on the baby Cait Sith's rear end. 

Chibi Cait bonked the former Turk with his megaphone. 

***

"WAH!" 

Scarlet walked down the hall. She heard something like a baby's wail. 

"WAAHH!!" 

She turned the corner. 

"WAAAHHH!!!" 

_Strange_, thought Scarlet, _piles of clothing can't cry..._

A movement came from the pile. Scarlet hesitantly took a step back. 

An infant crawled out. 

She couldn't place it, but there was something strangely familiar about him... 

***

"Not a good idea." Tifa said over the din. 

Cait's megaphone made his cries even louder. 

"What did you say?!" Cid shouted, "I can't hear a #$%^@% thing!!" 

"Take the megaphone away!" Yuffie yelled. 

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Cait shrieked. 

Aeris rummaged around under the sofa and tossed a few balls of yarn at the cat. 

Cait Sith finally quieted down. 

***

Scarlet picked up the baby and continued on her way. Eventually the kid calmed down, sucking his thumb. 

As she passed another corridor, Heidegger came waddling after her, as fast as his fat legs could carry him. Rufus beside him halted and stumbled when he caught sight of what Scarlet was holding. "Scarlet...you...baby..." 

Scarlet glared. "No, for the last time, I am NOT your 'baby'." 

"NO!!!" Rufus pointed. "That!" 

Heidegger looked and tripped over his own fat self. This made him tumble into Rufus' legs and sent both of them sprawling, landing in a _very_ suggestive position. 

"Kya~" Scarlet said coyly, "Why don't you boys get yourselves a room?" 

Rufus pushed Heidegger's big lump off him and asked, "Who's kid is that? Yours?" 

"Don't be stupid. I found him in the hall in a pile of clothes." 

Scarlet lead the two back to the clothing. Rufus looked through the pockets and found an ID card. He gaped at it. "Reeve." 

"So the kid is Reeve?" Heidegger asked. 

Rufus ran a hand through his reddish hair. "It's either that, or Reeve's gone off naked." 

***

Cait Sith was quite content with the yarn to a certain extent. But then, he started bawling again. 

He toddled a distance, and picked up a shiny red object. "GAA~!" 

***

Little Reeve started pulling Scarlet's red earrings. "Ouch..." She said, handing him to Rufus. 

Reeve started pulling Rufus' hair. "No..." Rufus said, handing him to Heidegger. 

Reeve socked Heidegger on the conk. Hard. The fat man promptly keeled over. 

"GAA~!" Reeve said, triumphantly. 

***

Cait played with the red object for a while. Then, for some unknown reason, he waved a paw at Yuffie, who was closest, and said, "Tibi!" 

***

Scarlet shrieked. She'd been holding the little Reeve. Out of the blue, Little Reeve had said "Tibi," whatever that meant, and POOF, Big Reeve was back. 

Scarlet dropped him. 

"MY EYES, MY EYES!" Heidegger moaned. Rufus turned away. Scarlet left the office. 

"My clothes, please?" Reeve muttered irritably, trying the best to cover himself up. 

*** *** *** ***

Awww... poor Reeve... ^-^ poor Scarlet... and Rufus... but Heidegger got what he deserved! 


	5. Yuffie Makes Reeve Go Looney Tunes

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Yuffie Makes Reeve go Looney Tunes_   
*** *** *** *** 

_Cait Sith waved a paw at Yuffie and said, "Tibi!"_   
*** Yuffie sniffed. She saw a gray cat. She grabbed the cat and started hitting him. "YAAK! LEGGO!" The cat yelled. 

***

Reeve stopped and backed away. He was being hit by an invisible force. "YAAK! LEGGO!" He yelled. Once again, Shinra officials towed him away. 

"Tsk, tsk." said an old lady. 

***

Yuffie had stopped harrassing Cait. She looked around her surroundings. Yuffie crawled over to Vincent and hid in his cape. 

Vincent looked annoyed. 

Barret and Cid turned on the TV. They both squealed. "OOH!! Looney Tunes!" 

Yuffie peeked out to watch. 

***

"And so," Reeve concluded, "That's all folks!" 

He was met with a sharp silence. Reeve slapped himself on the forehead. 

"He's gone Looney Tunes." Scarlet whispered to Rufus, who nodded. 

***

Yuffie climbed onto Nanaki's back and rode him around like a horse. Nanaki's tail switched from side to side, and hit Cait, setting him afire. 

***

"YEOW!" Reeve yelped dancing around the Shinra meeting room. "HOTHOTHOT!!! 

The other executives watched him with raised eyebrows. 

The Shinra officials dragged Reeve away again. 

***

"You know, I'm probably going to lose my job." Cait Sith said. 

"What job?" Cloud asked. "At the Saucer?" 

"Shinra, you dolt!" Tifa answered smacking him on the head. 

"I'm being sent to the hospital right now, thanks to you and your gang, Strife." 

"Get well soon. I'll send you a card." 

Cait sighed. 

*

Vincent yawned and got up. "'Night." Yuffie tugged at his cape. "No, Yuffie." She sat down on the carpet and began sniffling. 

"Please, Vincent." Aeris said dramatically. "Spare us the pain..." 

"Damn." Vincent muttered under his breath. He picked up the little girl and went into his bedroom. 

Tifa giggled. "I'd like to see what happens in the morning!" 

*** *** *** ***


	6. In the Morning

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_In the Morning..._   
*** *** *** ***

The dawn came. Morning light washed over the hilltops. The calm atmosphere. 

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" 

Er... the now un-calm atmosphere... 

"PEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRVVVVV!!!" 

Aeris and Tifa came running out of their bedrooms. "PERV?! WHERE?" Aeris shrieked. 

"LEMME AT 'EM!!" Tifa yelled. 

They ran into Vincent's room. On the bed, there was a heap of shivering blankets. Yuffie was hitting it, yelling "Pervert!" and "How _could_ you?!" 

The others came in. It took Barret, Cid, and Nanaki to restrain Yuffie. The blankets cried out, "I have sinned!!" 

Aeris threw the covers back. Vincent was huddled there with his hands over his head. "I told you she shouldn't have followed me!" 

"You realize," Aeris said to Yuffie, "You were practically begging to go to bed with Vincent?" 

"WHAT?!" Yuffie screamed. 

"Of course, you were chibi." Tifa added. 

"HEY!!! YOUGUYSBETTERCOMEDOWNANDSEEWHATTHAT @&$(%@)%&)% CHIBIMATERIADID!!!!" They heard Cloud yelling from downstairs. 

*

"I put it in a slot, and look what it did to the other Summon Materia!" Cloud said furiously. He cast Shiva. 

Out popped a tiny Shiva. She scattered snowflakes around the room and disappeared.   


Cloud cast Choco/Mog. 

A baby Chocobo and Mog ran out, and hit Cid in a place where it really hurt. He doubled over in pain.   


Cloud cast Ramuh. 

Instead of the old man on the mountain, there was a wrinkly baby on a sandpile.   


Bahamut, Neo-Bahamut, and BahamutZERO. 

A black lizard, red lizard, and silver lizard appeared. They crawled all over Barret, inhaling, then exhaling on him. Barret wheezed. "Can't...breathe..."   


And finally, Knights of the Round. (**AN:** I haven't gotten this one yet, so it might be incorrect...) 

Twelve knights appeared. Chibified, of course. With King Arthur at the lead, they proceded to beat Nanaki with plastic swords, all the while singing, "Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go..." and whistling off key.   


Everyone sighed. They'd been doing that quite a lot. 

***

Reeve sighed. This place was boring. Everything was white. 

And, he was in a straitjacket.__

_ Oh, boy._

"Come on, come on... what I wouldn't give to be out of here..." 

Suddenly, for no reason in particular, the mental hospital exploded. 

"YESSSS!!" Reeve cheered as he was blown away. 

***

"I'm bored." Cid said. "I'm so $^$@&# bored. I'm boreder than $^#&. My boredomness is supreme." 

"Like a *%@$%^ pizza." Barret muttered. 

"&()$&@^ RIGHT~!" Cid shouted. 

"$^%%&!" 

"@$$*%#%!" 

"(&#^@$@%!!" 

"#%#$%##^*%*%*!!" 

"*%%@!$^#&*(&(&#$!%^!!!" 

"#%#^#&@!%$&(^@%!~#@$%^!!!" 

"^@&@@@&**(%@!$#%%&(%%$%#&*^!!!!!!" 

"SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" Cait Sith yelled. He cast Chibi on one of them, and Silence on the other. 

"..." Barret crossed his eyes. 

"GAAAA!!! $^$@&@$^*!!" Cid started cursing in chibi language. 

"..." Barret stuck out his tongue. 

"&$%@! GUUUUU!!! #%&$! BAH!" 

"..." 

"$^$&$@!" Cid jumped onto Barret's massive shoulders. 

"..." 

"$^*%~`!" 

Barret got his head pounded by Cid. "..." He zoomed around the room, as if an airplane, and pretended to make airplane sounds. "..." 

Cid yelled happily, "&%#`^!" 

*** *** *** ***


	7. Baby Barret

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Baby Barret_   
*** *** *** ***

A whizzing sound could be heard. They lifted their heads to the ceiling. _BOOM!_ Reeve fell through. He landed on Cait Sith. "Ouch," they both said. 

"Nice to see you!" Cait exclaimed. 

"Really nice..." Reeve muttered darkly. 

"Oh, come off it, Reeve." Cait said. "You're only talking to yourself, anyway." 

***

After Reeve 'dropped in', things got a bit boring again. "Let's turn Barret into a chibi." Aeris suggested. 

Tifa agreed. 

Cloud yawned. 

Yuffie snored. 

Vincent crossed his eyes. 

Cid swore. 

Nanaki growled. 

Reeve sighed. 

Cait Sith sighed. 

Barret squeaked. 

"Barret," Tifa said. "Everyone else was a chibi. It's only fair..." 

"Nanaki wasn't!" protested Barret. 

"Then Nanaki can go next!" said Aeris. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—" 

"SHADDUP!!" Cloud and Yuffie yelled. 

"—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—" 

Vincent aimed his gun at Barret. "Stop that infernal noise." Nanaki showed his teeth. 

"—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—" 

"#%#$^^!!!^&@&&$!!!" Cid shouted. 

"See?" Tifa said. "You're outnumbered." 

Aeris cast Chibi on Barret. 

Baby Barret appeared. "He's so CUTE!" Aeris shrieked. 

Tifa gave Barret to Cloud. Barret punched Cloud in the gut. "Ugggg..." 

Barret to Cid. "@#$@%@&$^%$&$&#@!!" Barret yelled, and gave Cid Today's Special with Extra Whammy. 

"Tifa... Aeris... turn him back..." Cloud pleaded. 

"$^&#, turn him back. Baby Barret is a @#$@% pain!!" Cid said. 

"You would know." Aeris replied. 

"And we can't just turn him back." Tifa said, "Nanaki..." 

"Uh-uh. No way. Not doing that. No. Please no. _Non. No señorita. Iya._ Uhhh..." Nanaki tucked his tail in. 

"Please, Nanaki?" Yuffie cried. Barret was pelting Materia at her. 

"Pretty please with ice cream, fudge, sprinkles, and a cherry on top?" Cloud looked at Nanaki with a horrible version of the big watery puppy eyes. 

Nanaki turned away. 

"What the @%#," Cid muttered, "Why don't you just turn him?" He grabbed the Chibi Materia and cast it on Nanaki. 

*** *** *** ***


	8. Nanaki

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Nanaki_   
*** *** *** *** 

_"What the @%#," Cid muttered, "Why don't you just turn him?"_   
_He grabbed the Chibi Materia and cast it on Nanaki._

*** 

"Er..." Tifa was looking at the red lion cub, "Do you think that was such a great idea?" 

Nanaki mewed. 

"Marlene would luv 'im ta pieces," Barret said. 

"Mmmph~!" Reeve muffered. Baby Barret had been in his lap. When he changed back, Barret had squashed Reeve against the wall. 

"Shaddup, Shinra filth." Barret spat. 

Reeve punched Barret as best he could, and said threateningly, "Say that again, Wallace." 

"SHADDUP, SHINRA FILTH!!!" 

Reeve snatched up Cait Sith and started beating Barret around the head. 

"OWIE!" Barret cried. 

"OWIE!!" Cait Sith cried. 

"OWIE!!!" Reeve cried. 

*

"Geez." Tifa said to Cid, "Nanaki's no fun. All he does is sleep." 

Nanaki purred. 

Yuffie gave him a shove. "Go to Vinnie now!" 

Nanaki padded over the Vincent's cape. "Not again..." Vincent hugged his cape. 

Nanaki growled and showed his teeth and claws. "Uh...okay then... you're the boss..." Nanaki curled up in Vincent's arms with the cape draped over him. 

Vincent sang, tone-deaf-ily, "Rock a bye 'Naki, on the tree top, when the wind blo-o-ows, Vinnie will rock, and down will come 'Naki, claws, fangs, and all..." 

Yuffie covered her ears. "Hands up, the police are here to arrest you for bad singing!" 

A voice boomed from outside the house. "HANDS UP, THE POLICE ARE HERE!!!" 

*** *** *** ***

Yuffie: o.O 

So! This is where Shinra comes in!!!   
1. Turks   
2. Rufus, Scarlet, Heidegger   
3. Hojo   
4. Sephiroth   
Anyone up for Jenova?   



	9. Turkish March

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Turkish March_   
*** *** *** ***

Cloud ran to the window. "It's the Turks!!" He yelled. 

Aeris opened the door. The Turks, Tseng, Rude, Reno, and Elena were standing there. In a 'dramatic' pose. 

"Okay, Elena, you can get off my back now. I'm not giving piggy-back rides." Tseng was saying. "And Rude, stop acting like you're dying from electric shock by Reno." 

"Come in y'all foo's!!" Barret ushered them inside. 

"Sit down and drink the #^&#@& TEA!!" Cid pointed at the table. 

The Turkeys...ahem, I mean...The _Turks_, not knowing what to do, sat down and drank the #^&#@& tea. 

"So what brings you here?" Tifa asked them. 

"Er...we—" Reno started to say. 

"—just stopped by to say hi." Tseng cut in quickly. 

"..." Rude said. 

Tseng looked over at Elena, who was cuddling the Chibi Nanaki. 

"Well... then... hi..." Cloud said. 

"Hello." 

"_Guten Tag._" 

"_Konnichiwa._" 

"Howdy." 

"_Bonjour._" 

"_Hola._" 

"_Aloha._" 

"'sup?" 

"_Hai._" 

"Yo." 

"HEYA, FOOS." 

"..." 

*

Tifa nudged Aeris in the ribs. "Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" 

Aeris thought a minute. "Reno's hot?" 

"Yeah. Wait, NO!" 

"Rude?" 

"No." 

"Tseng?" 

"Nup." Tifa said. "We turn the Turks into Chibis." 

"You must've read my mind!" Aeris gasped. "Or did I read yours?" 

Tifa furrowed her brow. "Hmm... you know, that's a tough one." 

*

Aeris discreetly waved a hand at Elena and said, "Summon Chibi!" 

_BOOF!_ A blond child was sitting there with Nanaki standing over her looking surprised. 

"Elena!" Tseng cried out. 

The much younger Elena shimmied up Nanaki's leg and onto his back. "No, not again..." Nanaki groaned. 

Elena directed Nanaki around with great authority. Then she slid off his back. The blonde toddled over to Tseng and pointed to Nanaki. She then raised her arms up. 

"Huh?" Tseng looked confused. 

Rude finally spoke up. "I think she wants you to give her a piggyback ride." 

"Aw... $^!#." Tseng picked up Elena and set her on his shoulders as the others watched in amusement. "Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!" Tseng said, running around the room. 

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" Elena giggled. She patted Tseng on the head. 

"That's disgustingly cute." Reno muttered. Rude nodded. 

***

After quite a while, filled with squeals of delight, airplane noises, and huffs and puffs, Tseng stopped. Worn out. 

Elena slapped him. "OOO!!" 

"Just a minute. *huffhuff*" 

She slapped him harder. 

_BOOF!_

Elena turned back and Tseng's face became embeded in the carpet. 

Tifa and Aeris collapsed in laughter. 

So did Rude. 

"Ow..." Tseng mumbled. 

"Ah wonder..." Barret wondered aloud, "Who's gonna be next?" 

"Good question." Yuffie answered. 

"..." Rude whispered something to Tifa. 

"Whazzat?" 

"..." 

"..." 

"???" Aeris cut in. 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

"!!!" 

"!!!" 

"..." 

"What'd they say?" Cid asked Cloud. 

"..." Yuffie interpreted. 

"Say what?" 

Tifa, Rude, and Aeris finished the 'conversation.' 

"And the lucky person is..." Aeris pointed at... 

*** *** *** ***

Hiya, got a favor to ask: please read my other story, AERIS LEGACY? I would be very, very, grateful! 


	10. Reno and Rude

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Reno and Rude_   
*** *** *** ***

_ "And the lucky person is..." Aeris pointed at..._

***

Reno. 

Everyone else gasped. 

He stared in a bored fashion at them. "What did I win?" 

"This!" Tifa smiled. She cast Chibi. 

A chibi version of Reno appeared. He crawled under the table, heading towards Tseng. Drawing his electric prod, he gave Tseng a jolt in the behind. "AIIEE!!" Then to Rude again. Rude braced himself for the shock. 

Reno bit Rude's fingers. "!!!" 

"That's one &(@$ violent kid." Cid said. Nanaki agreed. 

Just then, Reno spotted Cloud. Sitting at the table with something, pretending to blend into the wall. It didn't work. Reno drew himself up to his full height. Which was about two feet. 

He punched-pulled-shoved-kicked Cloud out of the chair, and grabbed the mug. "Hey..." Cloud complained. "That's mine..." 

"Well, you can't let a little kid drink alchohol!" Elena exclaimed. 

"Do you wanna stop him?" 

"Not especially." Elena admitted. "I kinda like my fingers the way they are." 

Reno finished the drink. He yawned. "I think Reno's boring, aside from his acts of revenge." Yuffie said. "Turn him back, and change Rude. No, wait. Rude would be even more boring..." She went on with her one sided conversation. 

"Rude? Interesting idea." Tifa said. "Should we?" The others shrugged. 

"Brainless, the lot of you." 

***

Reno was turned back, head on the table, fast asleep. Cloud booted him out of the chair. "That was mine!" 

"Huh?" Reno pointed at Cloud. He seemed to have grown a chibi's head. Cloud looked. "Huh?" The chibi head was bald. "Rude?" 

Rude smirked. He slid down Cloud and went for Reno. From a pocket, he pulled out a fake worm (**AN:** You know, the really, really, really squooshy kind) and slid it down the back of Reno's shirt. 

"EAYAUGHH!!" Reno squealed. He danced a jig and maybe a polka or two around the room, trying to get the worm out. 

"I like the new Rude." Tseng commented. Just before Rude assaulted him in the face with true-to-life-smelling fake doggy-doo. "Now I like the old Rude better." 

"Who knew Rude was like this?" Vincent wondered aloud. 

"I didn't." Reno answered, waltzing past him. 

Rude sat down and surveyed the place for his next victim. He'd never liked cats. Bit him in the rear once. Cait Sith and Reeve hugged each other. "I won't let the bully get you, Cait!" Reeve said. 

"Nor will I, Reeve!" 

"I'd die to save you!" 

Barret harrumphed. "Reeve just said he'd die to save Cait Sith. But if Reeve's dead, Cait would be dead too... so...uh... waitasecond, if Cait's dead, Reeve'll be dead. No! If...aw...#%#!^!!" 

"That's another toughie." Reno tangoed around him. 

*

"Is he Doraemon or something?!" Cloud yelled as the zillionth worm had been stuck in his ear. "Where do all these worms come from?!" 

"Heck are we supposed to know?" Vincent muttered. "It was Tifa's idea to change him." 

Rude then took the opportunity to give Vincent a worm or two. 

"Hey, I didn't know Vincent could dance!" exclaimed Yuffie. 

Reno and Vincent did a can-can. 

*** *** *** ***

Like Tifa said, I think they're all becoming brainless idiots. ^.^() 


	11. Tseng

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Tseng_   
*** *** *** ***

Those who never got on Rude's naughty list were few. 

Those who never got on Rude's naughty list were also bored. 

Yuffie, Aeris, and Nanaki yawned. (**AN: **So did the author, but that's another story.) 

Stifling her yawn, Aeris turned Tseng into a chibi. Now, Tseng was a very curious chibi. And curious chibis are usually tortuous to other people, as he has recently taken a taste of certain worms. 

"Don't eat those, Tseng!" Elena scooped up Tseng. She ruffled his black hair. "He's soooooo cute!!" Tseng bit her arm, curiously. "Ouch!" Elena dropped him. "But Tseng's still a big meanie." 

Tseng had very sharp teeth. He found a blue fuzzy face with a beaded nose and sewn eyes. It tasted okay, nice and soft, just kind of smelly... 

"Leggo my blue bunny slippers!!!" Cloud rescued his blue bunny slippers. 

"Oh, that was disgusting." Nanaki muttered. 

"You should know." Yuffie said. "You chew on them." 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"All right, all right, break it up!" Cid waved his arms in the air. 

"Shaddup!" Nanaki and Yuffie both yelled at him. 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

"Do not!" 

"Do too!" 

* Tseng finished examining Aeris' dress. Other than Nanaki's tail, it was his favorite. He went back to where the Tail was situated. 

Tseng dragged the Tail over to Tifa. The unsuspecting brunette was suddenly set afire. 

Yuffie donned a tweed suit and thick glasses. "Now this, class, is a prime example of the mysteries of spontaneous combustion." 

"Mm-hmm..." Reno threw a spitball at Rude. It stuck to his head. "Yeah, can we all say com-_bust_-ion?" 

Tifa extinguished her fire, grabbed Nanaki and set Reno on fire. Then she retrieved a few bottles of wine from the cellar. 

"I love Bonfire Night." Aeris said. 

***

One Crispy Flambé à la Reno later, Tseng was sitting in Elena's lap. He had really liked the big fire, but somebody had dumped water on it. 

Tseng crawled over to Reeve and Cait Sith. He liked the furry cat. Tseng patted Cait on the head and hugged him. 

"Such a mushy moment." Barret sniffled. Vincent, wordlessly(of course), handed him a few boxes of tissues. Barret used them all. 

*

There was a knock on the door. 

Rude looked outside. "I think someone's in trouble." 

*** *** *** ***

I love bonfires. Especially the ones with Reno.   
Thanx a bunch for your reviews. I really love them too. 


	12. SHINRA!

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_SHINRA!_   
*** *** *** *** 

_ There was a knock on the door._   
_ Rude looked outside. "I think someone's in trouble."_   
* "Who is it?" Aeris asked. 

"President Rufus, Scarlet, and Heideggar." 

"Let 'em in!" Cid punched the air. "We can handle 'em!!" 

"Okay." Rude opened the front door. "'lo, Mr. President." 

"Rude." Rufus acknowledged. "We heard about some strange goings-on here." 

"Nothin' strange here, Mr. President." Reno said. "What do you mean?" 

Rufus thought a minute. "Some sort of fire, a lot of yelling, screaming, laughing, no?" 

"Nope." Cloud said. "Bye-bye." 

He proceeded to close the door, but Rufus stuck his foot in the door. After sticking his face in the door, Rufus asked. "I see Reno, Rufus, and Elena, but tell me: where is Tseng?" 

Everyone gulped. "He went to the loo." Reeve said quickly. 

"Who's Lou?" 

"The john, then." 

"Who's John?" 

"REEVE!" Scarlet shrieked, throwing the door wide open. "You are in big, big trouble, buster!" 

"Buster Sword." Someone said. 

Scarlet grabbed Reeve by the collar. "Save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" Reeve whimpered. 

"Do you know what your penalty will be?" She said menacingly. 

"Death Penalty." Someone said. 

"You will be going to court, and are going to have to conform to whatever is set upon you." 

"Conformer." Someone said. 

"And if you don't... You'll be in prison, with a lot of guards." 

"Princess Guard." Someone said. 

"Imperial Guard." Barret corrected. 

"Put a lid on it." Someone said. 

"W-w-w-what did I do?" Reeve asked. 

"Good question. I don't know." Scarlet dropped Reeve. 

*

Rufus pointed a finger at Cloud. "All right, Strife, what's the deal here? I checked the bathrooms and there's no Tseng." He scanned the room. "Is he hiding somewhere?" 

Tseng toddled over to Rufus before Elena could stop him. Rufus bent down to look at him. Tseng jumped and hung onto Rufus' suit. "What the—?" 

"Tseng, come back here!" Elena said. Realizing what she'd said, Elena slapped herself on the forehead. 

"Tseng?" Rufus looked at his suit decoration. "This is Tseng?" 

Tseng bit Rufus' neck. 

"YEEKS!! VAMPIRE!!" Yuffie shrieked. She backed away, falling into Vincent's lap. Turning around... "YEEKS!! VAMPIRE!!" 

"I'm not a vampire, and you know it." Vincent growled. 

Cid waved garlic under Vincent's nose. Vincent sneezed. 

Barret poured holy water over his head. Vincent coughed. 

Yuffie held up a stake. Vincent hid behind Aeris. 

"Vinnie the Vamp!!" Yuffie sang, as she waved the stake in the air. 

"I'm not a vampire!!" Bang, bang, Vincent filled Yuffie with lead. Then he was attacked by a red chicken. "What the—?!" 

"I have the Final Attack Phoenix!" Yuffie stuck out her tongue. 

*

"You know, I think we should turn Rufus Chibi." Cloud said to Tifa. Tifa nodded. 

"I agree." Aeris said. But Heidegger had overheard. 

"President Rufus! They're going to—" Heidegger stopped. 

Aeris cast Chibi. 

*** *** *** ***

Seriously, I'm brain-dead. I need IDEAS!!! Because I haven't even gotten the next chapter started, and I don't know what to do with Rufus... 


	13. Rufus, Half Empty, Half Full

Yay! Thanx a bunch for those ideas! 

Okay... so I didn't get to use a few of those ideas... but I think this made a pretty good chapter, anyhow. 

...or maybe that's just me. 

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Rufus, Half Full, and Half Empty_   
*** *** *** *** 

_ "You know, I think we should turn Rufus Chibi." Cloud said to Tifa. Tifa nodded.___

_ "I agree." Aeris said. But Heidegger had overheard.___

_ "President Rufus! They're going to—" Heidegger stopped.___

_ Aeris cast Chibi._

***

A red headed kid sat on the floor. Tseng, leader of the Turks, was hanging on to him. 

"What the—?" Tseng looked confused as he saw the chibi. "Who's this?" 

"Man of no information." Someone said. 

"President Rufus at your service." Reno said, sarcastically. 

"Man of dripping sarcasm." Someone said. 

"He's so...so little." Heidegger said, still a bit stunned. 

"Man of little vocabulary." Someone said. 

"Well, yeah. He's a little kid. HELLO?!" Yuffie said. 

"Man of much information." Someone said. 

Yuffie proceeded to beat Someone upside the head. 

***

Scarlet picked up the baby Rufus. "He's so cute!" Rufus pulled her hair. "Ouch." Scarlet passed Rufus to Rude. 

"Er... no thanks..." Rude handed the President to Vincent. 

"I'd rather not." Vincent passed Rufus to Barret. 

Rufus climbed atop Barret's massive shoulders. "OOOOOOOOOO!!!" He yelled, beating upon his own chest. 

"Spare me..." The big man whimpered. 

Rufus 'beckoned' to Nanaki. Nanaki sighed. Rufus climbed off Barret, and dragged Nanaki's sorry tail and whatnot over, knocking Barret flat on his face. With Aeris and Tifa and Yuffie and Elena and Scarlet sitting on either side of him, he looked like a tiny king. Rufus, that is. Not Barret. 

"I suppose Mr. Chibi, the President himself, thinks the cat is Dark Nation." Reno drawled, from the table. 

"Hey, I resent that!" Nanaki snarled. 

"And I suppose Mr. President, the chibi himself, thinks he's King of the Mountain." Cid added. 

"Hey, I resent that!" Barret growled. "Highwind, when I get out from this mess, you'll—" He was rudely interrupted by Rufus, kicking him smartly in the back of the head. 

"And I suppose Mr. Himself, the chibi President, thinks the girls are gonna feed him grapes and fan him." Cloud rolled his eyes. "As if _that_ would ever happen." 

"Er... look again, Strife," Tseng said. 

Cloud looked. The eyeballs that had been rolling around, a few seconds ago, nearly popped out of his head. Indeed, Aeris, Yuffie, and Elena were fanning him with large paper fans, and Tifa and Scarlet were feeding him bites of pear. 

"Well," he shrugged, seemingly unfazed, "At least they were pears, not grapes." 

"Always the optimistic one, aren't we?" Cid remarked. "The glass is half full." 

"It is?" Reno looked at his mug on the table. Rude splacked (**A/N:**...I made that up. But you should get the meaning.) him on the head. 

"That's a mug, not a glass." 

"Anyways," Cloud replied, ignoring the idiots, "It all depends on whether you're pouring or drinking." 

"And I'd be drinking!" Reno said. He raised the half empty mug. 

Or half full. 

It all depends. 

*** *** *** ***

Next, is both Scarlet and Heideggar, and I'd really like some ideas for that too, if it ain't too much trouble... 


	14. Sephiroth Arrives!

Ach, nevermind. Next chapter is S and H. 

*** *** *** ***   
**Chibi Me, Chibi You**   
_Sephiroth Arrives_   
*** *** *** *** 

After a while, Rufus turned back into his 'normal' self. 

"MMMPHHHH!!" Barret's face made a permanent imprint in the carpet. Yours would too, if you had a grown man and a red lion sitting on you. 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Cloud laughed maniacally. 

"KYA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Scarlet did too. 

"GYA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" So did Heideggar. 

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" And— 

Wait a minute. Rewind that. 

_ "GYA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" So did Heideggar._

_ "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" And—_

"_SEPHIROTH!!_" Tifa yelled. The silver-haired man with a demented mind stood in the doorway. "_RUN FOR COVER!!_" Everyone scrambled like eggs, resulting in chaos. And a lot of cracked eggs. 

Elena, Aeris, and Cid hid behind the sofa. 

Nanaki became very still, in imitation of a statue. 

Yuffie and Tseng attached themselves to the ceiling, by means of Wutaiian martial arts. Okay, okay, it was string, rubber bands, and a lot of tape and glue. 

Tifa crawled under the table. 

Reeve hid behind Cait Sith. 

Cait Sith hid behind Reeve. 

Barret tried to blend into the wall. 

Heideggar and Rufus cowered behind Sephiroth. 

Scarlet pretended to be a lamp. 

Rude and Reno cracked heads, hiding behind the door. 

Cloud attempted to conceal himself under the cushions on the sofa. 

And Vincent shut himself in the refrigerator. 

"What's going on here?" Sephiroth asked, giving Rufus and Heideggar some very strange looks. 

Nobody answered. 

"Ahem." The ex-SOLDIER unsheathed his long sword. "What's going on here?" 

Scarlet squeaked. Sephiroth looked at her. Actually he was looking at something near her foot. 

That something was round and shiny. Can you guess what it was?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"My precioussssss..." O. _No, wrong story, Gollum_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A PLASTIC ORANGE!!! O.O 

Fine, it wasn't. The round and shiny was also red and shiny. It was... 

They all gasped. "_The Chibi Materia!! Sephiroth, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—_" 

But it was too late. Sephiroth had picked up the Materia. "Hmm... I wonder what this does?" He mused. 

"_—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—_" 

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" 

They did so. 

Sephiroth looked at Scarlet and cast the Materia. 

*** *** *** ***

Haha, poor Sephiroth is really gonna get it!! 


End file.
